sophiaphilemon:

barydos:

maths used to make me this happy

….Oh
OH
OH
earlgreysoul:

ecto-gammat:

octaviancross:

Always remember

GUYS NO. GUYS. CALIGULA PROBABLY WASN’T AS NUTS AS EVERYONE MAKES HIM OUT TO BE. 
FIRSTLY, HIS NAME WASN’T ACTUALLY CALIGULA, IT WAS GAIUS. “CALIGULA” IN LATIN ROUGHLY MEANS “LITTLE BOOTS”. HE GOT THAT NAME FOR THE LITTLE CALIGAE (THE SHOES THAT SOLDIERS TYPICALLY WORE) HE’D SPORT WHEN ON MANEUVERS WITH HIS FATHER. IT’S LIKE DRESSING A TODDLER IN A TINY TUXEDO. HE LOATHED BEING CALLED CALIGULA, BUT THE NAME TOTALLY STUCK.
HIS MOM WAS THE GRANDDAUGHTER OF THE EMPEROR AUGUSTUS. Y’KNOW. THE GUY THAT GOT ADOPTED BY CAESAR. THE GUY THAT DEFEATED MARC ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA. THE ACTUAL FOUNDER OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE. VIPSANIA AGRIPPINA II WAS EDUCATED BY HER GRANDFATHER AUGUSTUS, MARRIED A GENERAL NAMED GERMANICUS, AND ACTUALLY ACCOMPANIED THE DUDE ON HIS MANEUVERS DEFYING PRETTY MUCH EVERY EXPECTATION OF THE ROMAN RULING CLASS. SHE DIDN’T TAKE NO BULLSHIT, PUBLICLY SPEAKING OUT AGAINST AUGUSTUS’S SUCCESSOR TIBERIUS WHICH GOT HER FLOGGED (LOSING HER AN EYE) AND THROWN IN PRISON, WHERE SHE DIED ON A HUNGER STRIKE. 
HE DID DO SOME GOOD STUFF. HE STARTED HIS REIGN BY DECLARING AMNESTY FOR ALL ROMANS IMPRISONED OR EXILLED UNDER TIBERIUS, ABOLISHING FUTURE TREASON TRIALS. HE REVIVED THE POPULARITY OF THE PUBLIC GAMES, SOMETIMES EVEN PARTICIPATING IN THEM HIMSELF. HE EXPANDED THE EMPIRE WESTWARD AND PUT IN MOTION THE PLANS TO CONQUER BRITAIN BUT WAS ASSASSINATED BEFORE PLANS COULD COME TO FRUITION.
HE HAD A SENSE OF HUMOR THAT THE PUBLIC AND NOBILITY DIDN’T REALLY GET. A SENATOR FELL ASLEEP AT A GLADIATOR AUCTION, AND CALIGULA TOOK HIS SLEEP NODS AS BIDS, EVENTUALLY SELLING HIM THIRTEEN GLADIATORS AT OUTRAGEOUS PRICES. HE MADE HIS HORSE A CONSUL BECAUSE HE BELIEVED INCITATUS COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN THE CURRENT CONSULSHIP. HOW MANY OF US HAVE MADE THAT REMARK?
IN AD 37, HE SUFFERED A HORRIFIC ILLNESS, CALLED “BRAIN FEVER”, THAT HE ALMOST DIDN’T SURVIVE. THE “BRAIN FEVER” WAS NEVER FULLY DESCRIBED, BUT WHAT SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN DOCUMENTED ARE THE EXACT SYMPTOMS OF BACTERIAL MENINGITIS. BUT WHATEVER HE ACTUALLY CONTRACTED CHANGED HIM SO MUCH THAT HE DID A COMPLETE 180. HE LOST THE ABILITY TO SLEEP, OFTEN NAPPING FOR ONLY A FEW HOURS AT A TIME, AND THOSE NAPS WERE WROUGHT WITH NIGHTMARES. HE DECLARED HIMSELF AND HIS SISTER DRUSILLA GODS (HE HAD DRUSILLA DEIFIED AFTER HER DEATH, MAKING HER THE FIRST ROMAN WOMAN TO BE DEIFIED, BUT THE DECISION WAS REVERSED AFTER HIS ASSASSINATION). HE FORCED HIS FATHER IN LAW TO COMMIT SUICIDE BY PUBLICLY ACCUSING HIM OF TREASON. HE MIGHT HAVE ORDERED 100 SHIPS TO TIE THEMSELVES TOGETHER SO HE COULD RIDE FROM ONE SIDE OF OF THE BAY OF NAPLES TO THE OTHER ON HORSEBACK (THERE’S NO EVIDENCE THAT THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEND, THOUGH). HE NEVER REALLY TOOK THE JOB OF RUNNING AN EMPIRE SERIOUSLY, TRYING TO BE THE FIRST PART TIME EMPEROR. BUT THE CLAIMS OF SLEEPING WITH HIS SISTERS WERE PROBABLY GREATLY EXAGGERATED (NO ACCUSATION OF INCEST WAS MADE UNTIL ABOUT 80 YEARS AFTER HIS ASSASSINATION).
BUT HIS CRAZY WAS MOST LIKELY BROUGHT ON BY A PHYSICAL AILMENT. WHAT IS NOW RECOGNIZED AS TEMPORAL LOBE EPILEPSY RAN RAMPANT THROUGH HIS FAMILY. EVIDENCE ALSO POINTS TO HIM HAVING WILSON’S DISEASE, WHICH IS A GENETIC DISORDER WHERE COPPER BUILDS UP IN THE TISSUES CAUSING SEVERE LIVER DISEASE, AND NEUROLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SYMPTOMS. PLUS, MENINGITIS IS NOTHING TO MESS WITH, SO IF HE DID HAVE THAT, WITH THE MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE OF THE TIME, IT COULD HAVE IRREPARABLY DAMAGED HIS BRAIN.
HIS REIGN WAS ONLY FOUR YEARS. BUT HE’S ONE OF THE EMPERORS WE MOST REMEMBER. THAT MALCOLM MCDOWELL MOVIE WAS ABOUT 30% TRUTH AND 70% HOLLYWOOD (BUT THE MOVIE IS STILL BANNED IN A LOT OF COUNTRIES. IT’S GOOD, THOUGH DON’T GO WATCHING IT UNKNOWINGLY; READ ABOUT IT FIRST. IT’S A DOOZY.) 

Have I ever told you that I’m madly in love with you, you amazing classicist you,